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Really, what’s the hype about reality TV, kids? It’s all you hear about anymore. Are the moguls out in Tinsletown so complacent that they can’t think of something cool and original?

Oh, wait, okay, so I do watch American Idol. Sure, it’s not really based on talent, but I dig it anyway. Even after I get mad about who gets booted (not to mention who is left), I still watch it. But AI doesn’t count, because I …um, love music. Yeah, that’s it, my love of music is why I watch…even though I don’t like the music generally featured on the show…All right, you caught me, I just like it.

Anyway, reality TV is really lame. I mean, look at Newlyweds with not so newly wed Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson. She’s a spoiled brat and a moron. He’s patient, and more down to earth, but still a little bit of a moron. Did you see the episode where he wouldn’t spring for movers to help him get his pinball, arcade, and Golden Tee games up to his game room? I thought I was going to lose it I was laughing so hard watching him use the forklift, and the stepladder. The best was the camping trip, though. Jessica with her Louis Vuitton bag, and fear and dislike of everything Mother Nature had to offer. I watch for the same reasons everybody else watches. It’s strangely comforting to know that famous people are idiots.

Yeah yeah, so I watch Fear Factor, too. I can’t help it. I need to keep up with the people at work the next day talking about how they made the contestants eat pig rectum, horse testicles and live spiders. I guess I should also admit to liking Real World/Road Rules Challenge, too. I mostly watch that to see all those morons I hate from Real World get the crap beat out of them as they quest for the new cars and the money, though.

I also like Trading Spaces (the show that made TLC interesting to the masses) and many of the shows that it has spawned. I actually notice that we’re watching Trading Spaces Family, with host Joe Farrell, a lot more than regular TS. There’s just something about seeing Doug & Hildi working with kids that’s pretty entertaining. Oh, and While You Were Out? Totally awesome. I love the new host, Evan Farmer, for being able to actually DO things. It’s a page that other fix-it shows should really take note of. You need a lamp designed and built, or a dozen picture frames? Evan is your go-to guy. Clean Sweep is another TLC show that’s taken off. I think because everybody either knows a super-packrat or IS a super packrat. You also have several shows geared to a more male audience. American Chopper, Overhaulin’, Monster Garage and Monster House are a few that come to mind. They unfortunately can’t all be winners, as proven by Discovery Channel’s new series, Big.

A lot of people are claiming to be “over” the whole reality thing. I don’t know that this is really the case, though. I think a lot of people are just embarrassed to own up to it, or, like me, they just don’t realize that they’re into it. The networks are responding, though. This summer is littered with reality shows. Everything from The Amazing Race to Who Wants to Marry My Dad?. Fox is even considering another Who Wants to Marry a Jillionaire? kind of show, so Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger should clear their full (yeah, right) calendars.

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